Nobody said life had to be fun, and sister, they weren't kidding!
Woke up, after a night tossing and turning. I was sick with chills and sweats. Feel a bit weak this morning, but better, I think. No idea what was wrong with me...maybe all in my head? Or maybe something I picked up at work? Beats me. Anyway, after dressing, I took the garbage downstairs and across the street--how exciting for me. Yippee. Then I made lunch--in this case, I used the stew beef, zucchini, cauliflower and garlic that the food pantry gave me, tossed in a little canned diced tomatoes with their juice, some sliced sweet onions, a little thyme, some jasmine rice I had sitting around in the cupboard and some beef boullion cubes/a little water. We'll see how my little ragout comes out...maybe okay, maybe rotten, but it'll be a nice lunch, for a change...and I'm stuck taking a bologna and cheese sandwich to work for dinner, so a good lunch is in order for today.
Weather is muggy and stormy looking--more like July or August than early June. We joke around here, that we have two seasons: winter and August 15th, ha-ha. Honestly...last few years, we seem to go right from winter to summer. Spring used to come in late March, last to early June. Now, maybe 2 or 3 weeks of Spring...then straight from "oh darn, it's snowing/raining again," right to the "thank goodness for air conditioning"/you can cut the air with a knife kind of weather.
Last night I was exhasted, tried to go to bed early, but 10 minutes after turning in--I was wide awake again. So I went into a book I bought at a yard sale on PowerPoint techniques, created several slide shows--one on Friesian horses, one on ancient Rome and one on Doctor Who...learned some interesting new stuff that you can do, but some stuff I'm going to need to work on. I liked learning about sizing pictures and stuff, that was okay...and it was sort of fun, kind of, anyway.
It's been a year of firsts, for me. First time I ever sat with a dying person, first time I couldn't find a job right off, first holidays (except for July 4th and Labor Day) alone, First birthday alone, first place I ever lived (minus the month I was homeless) where I didn't have a room mate or relative living with me, first time I've ever been virtually alone in the world. It's been a tough row to hoe, this year. No, life is definitely not fun anymore.
I've been stuggling, for more than 6 months, to bend without breaking, but sometimes my soul just feels like it's getting so very, very brittle...I can't help but wonder sometimes, if I'm truly going to break one of these days. I don't know.
According to the radar, there's a kind of nasty thunderstorm only about 30 minutes north of my location...but doesn't look like it's headed my way. Usually, storms here in the north travel west to east, but sometimes, like yesterday, they go north/south. In this case, I think the storm's following the usual pattern. I worry, because of the lack of wipers on my car. Took me over 2 hours to get home through the rain/storms yesterday. When you're poor, life's not just a hassle, it's also a pain in the backside.
News: Still bad stuff coming out of Indonesia. I really feel bad for them...I think I have it bad, but then realize just how much worse it can be, when I read about stuff like that. Also bad news out of Iraq again...what else is new? I ask people to think---I mean, really think--if we were so very intent on re-building Iraq, why did our govt. take money away from the clean water project and use it to turn Saddam's palace into our embassy? Babies die from lack of clean water every day over there...that's not a story...merely f-a-c-t. But, to some Americans, I guess a grand embassy is more important than saving babies. Where's the Ultra-super-duper Christian fanatics and anti-abortionists on this one, ey? Whoops, I forgot, they're not Christian or Anglo babies, are they? Yes, that was meant as sarcasim. Sorry, but sometimes the selective logic (or total lack of any, whatsoever) of some of my fellow citizens completely baffles me. Okay, okay, I'm on my soapbox again, ah well....
But let me ask this: Is a grand palace an honest and true symbol of democracy? Is it really? Has it ever been? I'm just asking, I don't have the answer, really, it was just a thought. I'm sure King George thinks it is, anyway. Personally, I think we could have found a cheaper and more practical structure...raze the palace or give it back to the Iraqi govt. to decide what to do with it...it really belongs to them, anyway, doesn't it? Or does it? Beats me.
Anyway, have to go to work. It's an easy day, sort of....at least I don't have to do the office trailers tonight. Going to be a long night, though. I'm worried so much about my car. I lose the car, I'm sunk, done for. I just feel....well, I feel like I'm just banging my head uselessly against life's walls. I sit here and write this blog...for what? Who cares? And do I care anymore, if anyone cares? (Big sigh.) Who knows? Who knows what tommorrow will bring...just another day, more bad stuff? Good news (what's that)?
"Dreaming of a tommorrow, which tomorrow will be as distant then, as it is today."--Tome Burguillos.
Woke up, after a night tossing and turning. I was sick with chills and sweats. Feel a bit weak this morning, but better, I think. No idea what was wrong with me...maybe all in my head? Or maybe something I picked up at work? Beats me. Anyway, after dressing, I took the garbage downstairs and across the street--how exciting for me. Yippee. Then I made lunch--in this case, I used the stew beef, zucchini, cauliflower and garlic that the food pantry gave me, tossed in a little canned diced tomatoes with their juice, some sliced sweet onions, a little thyme, some jasmine rice I had sitting around in the cupboard and some beef boullion cubes/a little water. We'll see how my little ragout comes out...maybe okay, maybe rotten, but it'll be a nice lunch, for a change...and I'm stuck taking a bologna and cheese sandwich to work for dinner, so a good lunch is in order for today.
Weather is muggy and stormy looking--more like July or August than early June. We joke around here, that we have two seasons: winter and August 15th, ha-ha. Honestly...last few years, we seem to go right from winter to summer. Spring used to come in late March, last to early June. Now, maybe 2 or 3 weeks of Spring...then straight from "oh darn, it's snowing/raining again," right to the "thank goodness for air conditioning"/you can cut the air with a knife kind of weather.
Last night I was exhasted, tried to go to bed early, but 10 minutes after turning in--I was wide awake again. So I went into a book I bought at a yard sale on PowerPoint techniques, created several slide shows--one on Friesian horses, one on ancient Rome and one on Doctor Who...learned some interesting new stuff that you can do, but some stuff I'm going to need to work on. I liked learning about sizing pictures and stuff, that was okay...and it was sort of fun, kind of, anyway.
It's been a year of firsts, for me. First time I ever sat with a dying person, first time I couldn't find a job right off, first holidays (except for July 4th and Labor Day) alone, First birthday alone, first place I ever lived (minus the month I was homeless) where I didn't have a room mate or relative living with me, first time I've ever been virtually alone in the world. It's been a tough row to hoe, this year. No, life is definitely not fun anymore.
I've been stuggling, for more than 6 months, to bend without breaking, but sometimes my soul just feels like it's getting so very, very brittle...I can't help but wonder sometimes, if I'm truly going to break one of these days. I don't know.
According to the radar, there's a kind of nasty thunderstorm only about 30 minutes north of my location...but doesn't look like it's headed my way. Usually, storms here in the north travel west to east, but sometimes, like yesterday, they go north/south. In this case, I think the storm's following the usual pattern. I worry, because of the lack of wipers on my car. Took me over 2 hours to get home through the rain/storms yesterday. When you're poor, life's not just a hassle, it's also a pain in the backside.
News: Still bad stuff coming out of Indonesia. I really feel bad for them...I think I have it bad, but then realize just how much worse it can be, when I read about stuff like that. Also bad news out of Iraq again...what else is new? I ask people to think---I mean, really think--if we were so very intent on re-building Iraq, why did our govt. take money away from the clean water project and use it to turn Saddam's palace into our embassy? Babies die from lack of clean water every day over there...that's not a story...merely f-a-c-t. But, to some Americans, I guess a grand embassy is more important than saving babies. Where's the Ultra-super-duper Christian fanatics and anti-abortionists on this one, ey? Whoops, I forgot, they're not Christian or Anglo babies, are they? Yes, that was meant as sarcasim. Sorry, but sometimes the selective logic (or total lack of any, whatsoever) of some of my fellow citizens completely baffles me. Okay, okay, I'm on my soapbox again, ah well....
But let me ask this: Is a grand palace an honest and true symbol of democracy? Is it really? Has it ever been? I'm just asking, I don't have the answer, really, it was just a thought. I'm sure King George thinks it is, anyway. Personally, I think we could have found a cheaper and more practical structure...raze the palace or give it back to the Iraqi govt. to decide what to do with it...it really belongs to them, anyway, doesn't it? Or does it? Beats me.
Anyway, have to go to work. It's an easy day, sort of....at least I don't have to do the office trailers tonight. Going to be a long night, though. I'm worried so much about my car. I lose the car, I'm sunk, done for. I just feel....well, I feel like I'm just banging my head uselessly against life's walls. I sit here and write this blog...for what? Who cares? And do I care anymore, if anyone cares? (Big sigh.) Who knows? Who knows what tommorrow will bring...just another day, more bad stuff? Good news (what's that)?
"Dreaming of a tommorrow, which tomorrow will be as distant then, as it is today."--Tome Burguillos.
posted by JustNancy | 10:50 AM
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